A Love Song For A Fallen Forum

Didn’t expect a new post will be up so soon right? Hurrah for fan boys (and girls)

I need to get rid of some of the old drafts for my blog to be posted A.S.A.P (yes, I do drafts days earlier before I posted whatever things I wanna write in my blog, by doing that I won’t do a scramble panic mode when something interesting pass me by.

Not to mention picture editing and posting can take an hour or two more: In addition if you are Tangerine, you gonna waste another extra hour to make your post look so colorful like M&M candies: well, that’s her trademark anyway…)

After being absence from my computer for weeks (I lost count) the machine starts to act up on me, to be precise it was Tangerine who spotted the abnormality. The HIDDEN FILES stays hidden even though you click frantically on SHOW ALL HIDDEN FILES options in tools. That is a problem since I have two big chunks of hidden important files inside my personal database. Thus we had no choice but to format the tin can once again. First things first, backups or posted or whatever else needs to be done.

I was thinking to nail some wheels on Abigail’s crib and tie a rope to the crib’s end so that I can carry her around between every part of the house. Maybe I manipulate Vladurac and ordered him to shop for some rubber wheels in a nearby hardware store. Abigail’s an avid sleeper, the moment she wakes up that’s a sign that she is hungry. Can’t wait to see her crawling around and start to walk. Yet again, a baby that mastered the “art of walking” will start to learn the “art of grabbing anything that interests you” which is the main cause of baby accidents of running around with kitchen knives, kissing a hot kettle or end up buried in a rubble of toppling things. Toddler stage is gonna be tough, I somehow can feel it (antennae waving around looking for a signal)

Now for the big chunks..

Seeing Tangerine posting on AIC Memory Lane..look, I have to apologize to you all that until the end of AIC, I was unable to find the time to post any forumers evaluation on the forum. The fact that I’ve promised to post it again and again made me look twice as bad.Thus during this “nothing to do” moments, I take my chances and took a shot at it. With outmost honesty, sarcasm, critical overview and frankness that might pissed you guys of (at the very least I have no bitter thoughts left hiding in my sleeves):

Divinekid

One of the first handful of Badguy’s Inc remnants, that greet my flamboyantly incoming into Flame 13th (Amen) forum. I still remember her first post in my INTRODUCTION thread, “Where do you come from?” which I replied with “From the third rock of the sun.” - “Oh! So you must be an alien then. ”Don’t you regret ever meeting one? In addition, also the he only person whom I wish to kill by my own hands; posting my face on Mana’s Watermarks Forum without the slightest permission.

Looking back at it, I’ll reconsider. Vladurac was also too blamed for posting it in Badguy in the first place. Then again, thinking of the epic 147 views that I get from such a small society forum (I have to brag, I have only one piece of picture in my gallery and it become an instant hit..muahahaha) maybe I just forget about it. IF I CAN FORGET ABOUT IT (my ultra mega memory is killing me..)

Sometimes I find her annoying that I wish to strangle the life out of her (i really do!) especially when I was down on my mood and tolerating cavemen symbols like: >_>, 8B, >: online. Plus, she is one of those under aged person who will reluctantly post things on her blog using the magical “4 letter word” when she is mad at something or anything. Anyway, what’s the standard age for explicit language?

Never mind…oh and how is your diet program going?

Recently being studying a lot, I choked on my Pepsi Max the very first time I heard it from Tangerine for the sake of going on a trip to Japan (such generosity from your school is almost unrealistic, but if that’s true then so be it) I don’t wanna messed up with your sudden hyper drive (since study seems to be last on your list –not to mentioned melting iceberg in Antarctica, poverty and child prostitution on the streets of ********, global warming and apocalypse) but at least we can be happy that you are studying for the sake of something no matter what it is. AT LEAST! Good luck and all the best: don’t waste that once in a lifetime (free) chance. (for a 17 years old)

Yesterday you were dying for Abigail’s Chinese name? S.Z.M –Soon Zhao Mei

Happy?

Now pay me RM300 for that.

Ravenmin

Nobody sees her coming, nobody cares, but in the end nobody expect she’s going to be a “permanent resident.” She was kinda stagnant when she first comes into Badguy forum. The first thing that came across my mind was; she’s gonna be one of those COME AND GO forumers.

Now where did she stash the one and only black and white picture of her, the ones posted at Badguy Inc?

Honestly I really do – evaluating from the static post counts and replies. Even when she’s migrating too AIC the tempo didn’t change much.

She went from passive to active during the pre-sig-battle era. Probably second to Michii to contribute so much into anything graphics an ability that personally for me, still needs to be refined and grind… If you are serious about doing CG.

Still recall the day when her SPM results beats Rarsa from GForum. 3 cheers – hurrah!

You still listen to metal songs?

Seriously I tought you gonna vanish into thin year after AIC gone idle.

Recently, after the end of "The Forumming Era" (stretching my neck every once in a while looking at what’s people talking about on their YM) Ravenmin and Tangerine can be found online, always on a hot topic discussing about Kingdom Hearts and Squaresoft games, or is it Kingdom Hearts and Squaresoft good looking CG boys….(my radar are going wild again)

Heard that she’s working and studying at the same time. Must have been busy, but a quarter a mile better than Tangerine.

I have this weird vibe, that if Gackt say “Hi!” from her back, she’s gonna melt into some liquid substance and get washed away into the monsoon drain.

Fiez / Sanji Q

You might not expect this, since you are one of my avid blog follower / fan boy, consider this as a special service (in comparison to your poor posting and contribution in both Badguy and AIC – remember, I was one of Badguy moderator for around a week before the whole forum spins around out of orbit)

Same question like Ravenmin, you still listen to Metal Songs?

If I recalled, you had a record of staying at the United States, correct?

You once do rollerblading (a wild guess) correct?

I also guess that you still stick too MSN while a large number of the world population that you knew was on YM, correct?

You hang out with girls because you found them interesting, correct? (This question was originally Tangerine’s. Beware, she is reading you with her demonic mind probing ability) Anyway, just answer away..

Alonqexe

My house is situated right in the middle of two doctors. One is a fresh graduate and is working at the local General Hospital (according too his father..) and the other guy already opened up his own private clinic somewhere, somehow, whatever..

Apart from the fact that the doctor that owns a private clinic is chubbier that ones working in the General Hospital, i noticed after countless hypothesis: spying (not stalking) and neighbourhood small talks, these two doctors shares one thing in common. They can only see straight. Both always come back to their humble abode late, almost midnight..they didn't socialize much in comparison to others and you can almost catch a glimpse of em carrying around thick medical books and just read them as pastimes activities.

Then i start to wonder, "Wow! If studying medic for decades is not enough, and the working hours is like loose ground on a landslide, not to mention the stress from having a job which people life hangs in the balance...i wonder, did all this robbed their social interaction ability. Come on guys, a smile or a "Hi!" can do..no need to give me that Frankenstein face every time we saw each others....

Well, Alonqexe, I've been evaluating you for ages and countless of time, this time i want you to prove to me that "Doctors have no life or an anti-social lot" is an understatement.

There...we go!

It’s kinda awkward, writing out something in this moment at this time knowing that people around you are dying for your latest post with a “well…how is it?” Divinekid already posted “I Want Details” on events, as if I am the President of The United States Of America after minutes of declaring war on some…nation out there.

Yeah, like you already heard (from the phone, internet, Yahoo Messenger, MSN, Motor Mouth Tangerine or whoever birds chirping in the morning); -making it sounds as formal and with little emotional outburst as possible: I had successfully given birth to a 2.8kg baby girl. Before anyone of you start cheering, I would like to point out that Vladurac, Perebum XS, Tailgunner, Bunny 2 and My own husband (unbelievable) I need to collect RM30 from each and everyone of you for loosing the bet. Well, my husband knew his fate earlier after the baby scan result.

Her name is Abigail, as expected nearly half the population had “Huh?” written on their forehead. Only Vladurac had the guts to ask what kind of name (well he had a lot of guts anyway – he had more guts than brain that’s for sure) is that?” You guys don’t blame me! Blame my partner for that. We was the Ultra Mega Einstein that comes out with a Chinese name that starts with the letter “Z” –yes although it sounds cool but imagine having a “Z” name you be on the bottom list of everything (class, line ups, voting polls, vaccinations, etc) If you still don’t dig what I mean, ask Alonqexe, go and ask him how he feels to be the “Q” name of the community. Aha..maybe that’s why he used the nickname that starts with the letter “A”. See..its pure common sense.

She's born at midnight, weird ain’t it? There you are ready to doze of and suddenly the baby was extra anxious to “meet the world”….. I was frantically clicking on the “Nurse Call” button while cursing “dammit kid, can’t you at least wait till morning?”

I was then rushed to the launching bay..with all the Formula One crew on standby.

One thing is damn true..you kinda fell sleepy afterwardszzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…….I realized that my legs kinda collapsed on me. They say it’s normal until I fully recovered. I was wheelchaired home and spend most of my days either playing and poking at baby Abigail or if you ever see me online or on the net, keep in mind I’m doing so lying on the bed – Tangerine, looks like buying yourself a lappie is not a bad idea after all.

People are screaming post pictures, well it's understandable that a picture beat a thousand words...millions even, but i wish to invent a new quote:

"A video beats a million pictures"

There is a video around this blog somewhere, you just need to click the right button. You know me...i won't give it taht straightforwardly easy for you all. Show me your determination and you guys will be well rewarded.

Clue: There are four post entry on the top

Frozen Heartbeat PER SECOND

In this farewell

There’s no blood

There’s no Alibi

‘Cause I’ve Drawn Regret

From the truth

Of a Thousand Lies

So let Mercy Come

And Wash Away

What I’ve Done

I've faced myself

To Cross out what I’ve Become

Erase Myself

And let Go of

What I’ve done

Put to rest

What you Thought of Me

While I clean this Slate

With the Hands of Uncertainty

THIS DAY, THIS DATE: THIS PAINFULL NAKED TRUTH AND THESE STUPID MEDICAL REPORT PAPERS AROUND ME!

10.3.09 - Things that happened in my life was not mere memories nor coincidence..it's a chronic desease: what was then "personality" is actualy mental illness - 29 years of my life, i learned that i was nothing more than a walking psychotic time bomb...

you were right, it sucks to be me...

..even after a decade Luke, your ghost still pester me around!

Under Heavy Hellfire

It was just the first day of work after a weeks holiday from Chinese New Year, and already people of all shapes and sizes started to bombard me as early as 8.30 in the morning via mobile phone:

Call 1

"Can you come too the shop today? I need you to represent one of our supplier to go to XXX and renewing his company's license for him?"

I had an appointment with my mechanic so i rejected the first call with "sorry, can't make it, got something to do for the day. I'm already asking for a days off."

Yet again an hour later, the phone rang...

"Nobody else can do it. Can you spend some time after you finish your appointment? What time will your appointment be finished?"

Thinking that was the end of everything for the day i say "I will drop by at 1.00am."

Call 2

Halfway through my appointment, i received yet another call:

"Where are you? I need you to sign some cheques at my place here."

Trying too implement the same tactic to caller 1 (as in appointment and off day) he replies,

"You cannot have an off day today! I need to pay some salaries and you are the only one who can issue the cheque for me."

Cutting my appointment short and extended it to the 16Th of February, i say i will meet up with him at his store after lunch.

Caller 3

"Hello. This is XXX ...i would like to discuss about XXX what time you'll be free? 1.30am? Okay, I'll see you at your place."

Caller 4

"Have you updated the database for the store items and factory stocks? I can't find them anywhere in the system."

Caller 5

"Help! I cant find the company's files on XXX!"

Caller 6

"Can you come back tomorrow and provide us with the Postal Money Order because we don't accept cash..."

Caller 7

"The bank would like you to update the information regarding XXX because they end up calling a wrong number when they wanted to ask for confirmation on you issuing the cheque."

What the...

So i went back to the office and say to the clerk there,

"Look, about asking for a days off for today, screw it and just assumed that I'm working full time today."


PHOBIA: Workplace Are Unpredictable

One day you come into the office and things end up great while the other day you got people tailing you with the end of their eye like you some kind of alien from Mars. One day you got all smiles and hello's like you're some heroes from the Marvel Comics and the other day people stare at you as if you're marching down the death gallows.

It was nerve wrecking. It's like a businessman writing his first One Million Dollar Checkbook, a doctor on his first surgery and a pilot on his first maiden flight across the continent on a giant Airbus. I try my best to avoid office politics and wild gossip because it's poison. It will eat you up and wear you down, and at the end of the day you end up joining some anti-individuals-labor-factions.

Sometimes you felt uneasy when you see people running around working like bees while you just feel like slacking off for the day. Sometimes you end up pretending to be busy, but even such old simple tricks ran out of gas....

Maybe i can't find my sense of direction in my new field. I'm much more comfortable working at home working without those watchful eyes of people around me (not to mention boss) but not all things goes your way. My sleepiness are getting worse day after day. I bet it increases 1% per every 24 hours.


Unable to take it anymore i grab my car keys, drove to a nearby Megamall and start snoring in the parking lot....

Ghost, Guns and Roses

Bad Moon Rising..

"Don't go around tonight,Well, its bound to take your life, There's a bad moon on the rise...."

I wanna tell u guys something that happened on the 28Th, well i kinda didn't wrote this one any sooner cos i was still hanging around my late grandma's house paying homage and doing some cleanups. There was no Internet connection in the old house unless u drive 13km down to the nearest town. Anyway, either it's freaky, nonsense or sounds a little bit phooney even, it's up to you guys to decide on that. Okay? Good...

It was around 12.32AM ( 0032 hours if you wish) i was still reading my old school days novel collection stash in the closet. Halfway through my STAR WARS, i head a thumping on my window panel. The first thing came up my mind was some giant Cicada's banging itself at the window confused and attracted by my bedroom light.

The rest of the house is engulfed in darkness. Even the outside compound was dark. My mistake, i was so immense with my old books i even forgot to switch on the house lights (except for my own bedroom) the thumping sound repeats itself for a steady 10 minutes. I'm aware of the sound but i didn't give much attention to it at all.

After a while the thumping stops. Around 1.12AM it started again. Thumping on my window panel. Its not one of those violent loud banging, its just like a steady soft knocking. By this time I've already stop reading and going all ears listening to the weird sound. I dare not take a peek. Good thing my window is covered by a thick curtain so at least nobody can stick their head in and take a sneaky peek at their own will. Plus, even though it was one of those old typical traditional house, every window panel is grill enforced. At the very least, there's a little extra bit of security around the place.

Around 2.00AM the thumping stopped 5 minutes later it started again. This time i jumped of my bed threw my book away and rushed out my bedroom door. In case you been wondering why it took me that long to start making a move, basically the thumping sound comes from a different window panel, and i have a feeling that whatever or whoever making all that rapport is definitely not Mr Cicada's.

Trying as best as i can not to make to much noise, i grab my flashlight mobile phone and my old grandad shotgun, lock and load and find myself the most suitable place to make a stand at least until the morning sun comes out. So for the rest of the night i bunked myself in the house dusty store room with the gun pointed at the door. I dare not fall asleep, not knowing what's the real situation outside, frankly sleeping is not an option. It was so dead quiet in there you can't hear whatever happen outside.

I come out of my store bunker the moment i realize sun ray seeping from the roof cracks. Looking all around the house expecting signs of burglary, i found nothing. Huh? Everything's intact. Nothing broken.

I remembered a few years ago there were burglary attempt on the house, where people trying to banged grandma's door open but luckily a car passed by this desolate road and the car bright lights spooked the burglar away. I also remember that earlier that day i was murmuring corny jokes to my neighbouring cousin that it's been a year since i didn't come back to see grandma house, and i won't be surprised if ghosts started to stay at our place. If the is any i wonder if i might end up seeing one or two. Sheesh...

Oh did i mentioned shotgun?

This Chinese New Year, my family settled our inheritance issues according to my late grandma's will and as i see it, there are a lot of terrified faces around looking at what i received from the lawyer..

I manage to inherit some of the coolest properties in the family tree. Ironically, while other family members end up getting a piece of land, a box of jewelry and other stuff fit for 'inheritance' HOWEVER what i get is mostly weapons and firearms? (what was my late grandma thinking when she wrote down her will?)

To my dad's horror, i end up being the rightfull owner of my family's shotgun. A single barrel that goes back as far as the Comunist aggression period of the 1960's. By right the owner of family inheritance specialy when it comes to firearms and weapons would be male, thus my dad was expecting the gun gonna end up with him. However....


I have heaps of doubt wondering if it's safe to post firearms and all that on a blog. Next thing you don't wanna get is ISA or FBI and CIA even, knocking on your door for some Q n A. Tangerine keep persuading me to do so, thinking that its cool to post such stuffs...


These are the bullet for the guns, note that there are two types of ammo with different colours. Each type serve different functions. The green one is more widely dispersed and meant for long range firing while the shorter blue one are short distance but more devastating. (it can blow your door out of it's hinges)


Divinekid if you're reading this, maybe i reconsider our issue of posting my picture without proper permission back in Watermarks Project and chase you with my gun instead of stabbing you with a kitchen knife. Kidding....

Another interesting thing that was passed down to me was a Borneo Native War Sword. It has a beautifull white sheath and hilt made from deer horn.



The sword was made more for striking instead of fencing or blocking attacks because the hilt have no ring to protect the hand (like normal swords) it's kinda crude and elegantless of a sword, but the scary part is...



..noticed that when i compared the size and length with a normal standard sized sword its almost twice the volume, it's almost like the same length with a standard size medieval two handed sword or a katana...

..put it alonside the shotgun and it's almost similar in length, and plus to my dismay,

..it's as long as my standard loveable spear, but the spear is more lighter and more agile, and will be my forever favourite. It's going to take a while for me to be able to weild and swing the big bad sword with one hand (im struggling with it in both hands now) and barely manage to draw it out smoothly due to similar reason.

Now, given such power in your hands, what would you do with it? There are people in this world entrusted with power to do just about anything they wish for yet, they failed to save a single life in this world.

Ultra Mega Chiongster

I've seen Tangerine's Blog and i think having a moderately small font size is neat. Thus, i am implementing the same thing to mine as well. I however, would firstly apologize if the font was rather microscopic to some of you out there.

The Chinese New Year celebration of 2009 end up in sky shooting, ear deafening extravaganza display of fireworks. Ironically, this year i will be the one sitting on the balcony munching New Year's food while watching the younger family members launch their artillery barrage to space. A month ago we were celebrating New Year and Christmas, a month sure passed by so quickly. Before we knew it, i might be going 30's.

The weather had been bad, epidemic was everywhere. The river was muddy and brownish and small smelly puddles had been developing on bare soils around the house. Some low lander experience floods and roads become inaccessible. During my younger days flood was never this drastic and rain was never this heavy. Could Global Warming be the answer, or the District Office screwed up with the town drainage system again? (shrugs)

I went back to check on my Grandma's house a day before CNY. The house was so abandoned the whole place feels kinda creepy. The decks are falling, dust are everywhere and the tiles are littered with dead insects and house lizard droppings. It took me a whole day just to clean up a spot so that i can sit down. The next door neighbours are gone, mass migration to the city. I'm expecting that in 10 years time nobody lives here anymore.

Approximately one and a half (unless the child is anxious to come out earlier than expected) month more to go. Basically, it's kinda wee bit boring agenda for the past 7 months but, just like the preparations for some kinda Olympic ceremony..it's finally here! After this the real work begins, I'm including midnight sudden wake ups, diapers, chicken pox vaccinations etc etc ..breast feeding? Do they have a manual on that? Hello....?


OK so now...of to the next issue...


p/s: I really wanna tag Rose, but too bad she'll be offline for more than 2 months. I wish to know her personal view on this boycott thingy, and am wondering is she can boycott her fave McD (if she is up for boycott). Anyway if she reads this, consider that I'm tagging you too, Rose!

-Alonqexe; from The Realm Of Alonqexe

I kinda squint my eyes on this one. I was tagged into this "chain-letter-of-death" game. Supposedly, i should list out 5 companies i wish to boycott, 5 more i was going to boycott and plus, another 5 that i find hard to let go off. Well, there is a famous saying "curiosity kills a cat", and i bet i was tagged because people wanna know how the noodle in my head works.

There, we go..

List 5 companies / products i wish to boycott:

1. Nokia

For the past 3 years, my friend Tangerine had been running her campaign of "forget Nokia, choose Sony" campaign. She stress out that Sony is better in design, sound quality, interface vs Nokia's durability (which she claims that the issue can be solved rather easily with Sony's mobile phone casings) Personally, i was disappointed in my Nokia 5300. The sound was kinda choppy and the interface was rather ugly. A definite total pawnage if i compare it to Tangerine Sony Phone Walkman W380 series. I might trash my Nokia and swapped it with Sony in this short period of time. If you owns a Nokia, you noticed that there was little being done about the ugly phone interface. Nokia lovers, this is MY PERSONAL OVERVIEW so don't start sulking at the back and boycott me in the process.

2. Carrefour

Look, if you're looking for "Jack Of All Trades" store please go GIANT, TARGET, HARVEY NORMAN or PARKSON even (or at my place, the local NGIU KEE) 'cos as for Carrefour, i had some kinda lifetime grudge over the electrical brand qualities after a couple of wire extensions and plugs nearly blew up on my face. (..are those SIRIM labels for real?) I was one unhappy Carrefour (former) customer.

3. Starbucks Coffee

Coffee? No thanks..and uh... coffee that cost you 12 bucks plus for a sip, that's utter nonsense. Look, you rather burn your cash for a medium size iced blended i rather make my own at home. But if some think that expensive are classy, go get your coffee done in a five star hotel. Starbucks: price over product, it rather didn't tip my scale. (smirks)

4. Wonderbra

Flat chested, unite! This is one of those self esteem pranks. Wearing one is just like lying to yourself...(mind you I'm a B,)..what am i saying...

5. Dr Pepper

Try drinking one, even mud water taste so much better. It's a 10 cent version of Coca Cola.

5 Products I Will Start To Boycott

1. Disney Movies

The latest flick, HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL...well remind me of a line on Smash Mouth song. "Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb.." it didn't hit me at all. Where's Captain Jack Sparrow when you need one?

2. Danone

They do no mercy to my teeth and gums. Every single one of em. The cookies and stuff are to sweet to my liking. Maybe they want the world population to be toothless by the year 2013. Mind you, I'm avoiding dentist for life, falling in love with Danone would be troublesome.

3. Tommy Hilfiger

I used to buy some sweaters and track pants consistently from this brand. But now i find that the target buyer had shifted more towards men, or maybe my own interest has shifted. Anyway, my interest in this brand is deteriorating.

4. CNN

Two words...Utter Bullshit (and the shit keeps piling up)

5. ICQ

Think it's a waste of time. Nuff said...

5 Products I Find It Hard To Boycott

1. McDonald

Personal Confession: Just last night, i was munching on a Double Cheeseburger, and my husband he was kinda make this cloudy veeny face at me...(i keep on munching anyway..I'm a McJunkie) I'm loving it..tara pa pa pa..oh so sue me...

2. HUGGIES

You're kidding right? With a baby due in March we need a whole armada of Huggies. You're expecting me to start boycotting this lifesaver now? I'll pass.

3. National Geographic Channel

Read my lips "Over My Dead Body" nobody is allowed to change channels.

4. Intel

My PC runs on Intel, and in comparison with other microprocessor that I've known, i find Intel Pentiums the most reliable for my type of work.

5. Nestle

I open my food cabinet and realised that 80% of the stuff in there are Nestle's. I been feeding on em for the last 28 years.

That's it Alonqexe. ..thanks for the tag. Remember that people who tagged are prepared to be tagged themselves, in the future..perhaps.

- I've done my tag task..

High noon of 2009, after a light shower, i hit the road looking for Mr Rainbow. Hoping at the end of it, (as the legend says) sits a pot of gold. I was under my rainbow when i snapped this picture and there was no pot of gold anywhere too be seen...i guess the legend was untrue. Ironically, the road at the end of the rainbow leads straight back home.

END GAME

"humanity is the only living being,

capable of ending its own existence...

the end of the world - will be by human own hands"

ps: My Post Kinda Freaked You out this time?

I was wondering,

How could i raise a child,

In this chaotic world we lived in today...

Will it be alright?